Disclaimer: I am reviewing this book of my own accord. Nobody asked me to review it, and I am not receiving any perks for doing this. I literally picked this book up at an airport when I was at a pretty low point in my life and finished it before my flight landed.

I was hesitant to pick this book up because it was in the Self Help section of the book store. Picking up a self help book signals that there is a problem in my mind even if I am just interested in the topic. After reading the inside cover of this book, though, I just couldn’t put it back down. A large part of that was due to Mark Manson’s laissez faire attitude towards keeping to the style of most other self help books on the market already, which is easy to get a sense of just by reading the summary of the book. So I bought the book and a coffee and headed to my gate.

Once I started reading this book I could not put it down. The way it is written makes it feel like the furthest thing from a self help book. In fact, the way Manson has written this book almost makes it feel like he is having a conversation with the reader. He explains experiences that he went through in his own life that are relatable to the reader, which, in turn, helps the reader grasp the concept he is explaining better. That is what I liked most about this book – it didn’t feel like a lecture, and it didn’t feel like he was trying to force his advice.

Growing up as someone who always worked towards making everyone else happy and meeting everyone else’s expectations, I felt burned out not even half way through undergrad, but I kept pushing myself. I didn’t have much of a rebellious phase as a teenager and focused more on my grades than enjoying those years of my life. If I could go back I would probably have told my younger self that life isn’t just about school and grades, but our experiences are what make us who we are, and that is a concept that Manson emphasizes in this book. We aren’t just the positive experiences and shouldn’t just expect positivity with positive outcomes. If there was no negativity or if we never faced failure, then we wouldn’t even be able to tell what a positive experience is, let alone appreciate it.

“Essentially, we become more selective about the f*cks we’re willing to give. This is something called maturity. It’s nice; you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a f*ck about what’s truly f*ck-worthy. As Bunk Moreland said to his partner Detective McNulty in THE WIRE: ‘That’s what you get for giving a f*ck when it wasn’t your turn to give a f*ck.'”

Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

The quote above spoke volumes to me because I have always been the type of person to care about everything and give everything I do my all. But we all have limited f*cks to give, and if we give a f*uck about absolutely everything in life then we won’t have any left to give for the truly important things in life. It isn’t until you go through it though that you realize the amount of truth to that statement. There came a point this past year where I had way too much going on and there were too many things on my plate. Something had to give or else I wouldn’t be getting even the little amount of sleep I was managing to get at the time. I had to make a decision on what I could spend less time on from the tasks I had to accomplish, and I taught myself how to work smarter instead of harder. The surprising thing is that I actually ended up excelling at everything I needed to get done.

I highly recommend this book to anyone that asks me for suggestions on what they should read next. Even if you aren’t at a tough spot in life, it is still a fantastic and fairly quick read. Go check it out and let me know what your opinion is on it once you are finished! I would also love to hear about your experiences or if you can relate to mine, so leave me a comment!

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